


what it means to be a joke (trust me)

by SoloChaos



Category: Bandom, Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Angst, Bullying, Gen, Homophobia, Non-Consensual Kissing, Non-Consensual Photographs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-19
Updated: 2015-01-19
Packaged: 2018-03-08 05:02:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,318
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3196304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SoloChaos/pseuds/SoloChaos
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>a prequel to <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/3173900">i'm telling you the truth (if you wanted honesty)</a></p>
            </blockquote>





	what it means to be a joke (trust me)

**Author's Note:**

> there are mentions of rape, though none happens. someone is asked out on a dare. someone is drugged and photographed naked.

Josh is walking out of his last class, talking aimlessly with Debby when Matt Fletcher comes up to him and says, “There’s a party tomorrow night.”

 

“…okay?” Josh says slowly, looking up at the senior.

 

“Do… do you want to go with me?” Matt asks, shifting his weight from one foot to another.

 

“Wha… what, seriously?” Josh says, gaping.

 

“Well, yeah,” Matt says. “You- you’re gay, right?”

 

“Well. Um.” Josh pauses, wondering how Matt knew. The only person he’s ever told is Debby. “Yeah, I guess.” He glances over at Debby, who’s looking as mystified as he feels.

 

“So, will you go with me?” Matt asks.

 

“…yeah, sure,” Josh says slowly, scarcely believing it. Matt is a senior, on the football team, and extremely gorgeous. Why is he asking Josh, a freshman, to go to party?

 

“Cool,” Matt says, flashing Josh a smile. “I’ll pick you up at ten tomorrow, okay?”

 

“…ten AM or PM?”

 

Matt blinks. “PM,” he says slowly.

 

“Right,” Josh says, feeling like an idiot. “Okay. See you.”

 

Matt gives Josh a grin before walking off.

 

“…huh,” Debby says.

 

“Yeah,” Josh agrees.

 

 

 

“So, where’s the party?” Josh asks as he closes the door to Matt’s car. He’s still adrenaline-filled from sneaking out his bedroom window.

 

“Scott’s house,” Matt says, tapping his thumbs against the steering wheel. Josh nods, pulling his phone out.

 

 _scott nash’s._ he sends to Debby. She had made him promise that he’d text her whose house it’s at “just in case”.

 

_ok_

_text me evry hour_ she replies.

 

Josh snorts. _you’re not my mom._

 

_well i am ur only friend_

_n ur my only friend_

_so if u die ill be friendless_

 

_i’m not gonna die._

_it’s just a party._

 

_well if u dont text me evrey hour im gonna show up n ruin ur date_

_so text me_

 

_fine._

 

He mutes his phone and puts it back in his pocket as they pull into Scott’s driveway. 

 

“Let’s go,” Matt says with a grin, parking and stepping out of the car. Josh follows him to the front door. 

 

The noise is the first thing Josh notices. There’s some pop-y kind of song playing, making the walls and floor vibrate. There are kids running around, shouting and singing. It’s so unlike anything Josh has been to before, and nervousness and excitement are combating in his stomach.

 

“Come on!” Matt shouts over the noise. “Let’s go get something to drink!”

 

Apprehensive, Josh follows him to the kitchen. Matt’s walking kind of quickly for some reason, and he makes it into the kitchen before Josh.

 

“Here,” Matt says, handing Josh a plastic cup.

 

Josh looks at its contents. “What is it?” he asks.

 

Matt chuckles. “Nothing too strong, kid, I promise.”

 

A bit miffed by being called a kid, Josh hesitantly takes a sip and tries not to gag. It’s kinda gross, and it makes his nose burn.

 

“Good, right?” Matt asks, taking a sip from his own cup. Forcing a smile, Josh nods.

 

Josh doesn’t know any of the kids here personally, and he sticks to Matt for the next hour or so. He’s bored, and Matt isn’t really paying attention to him. He’s pretty sure he sees Matt kissing some girl out of the corner of his eye, but he opts to go get a refill of whatever was in his cup instead of investigating.

 

 _this is boring._ he sends to Debby.

 

 _¯\\_(ツ)_/¯_ Debby replies.

 

_nice._

 

He sees the little icon letting him know that Debby’s typing pop up, but suddenly a hand lands on his shoulder. He jumps, quickly shoving his phone back into his pocket.

 

“Having fun?” Matt asks.

 

“Yeah,” Josh says quickly.

 

Matt studies him for a moment. “Here,” he says, handing Josh his drink. “I think you need this more than I do.”

 

Josh hesitantly takes a sip. It tastes a little stronger than the other drinks he’s been having, but he doesn’t mind. Maybe the party’ll get a little fun if he gets a little drunk.

 

 

 

“Hey, Joshie, I think you may have had a little too much,” Matt says, resting his hand on Josh’s shoulder.

 

“Mm,” Josh says, looking up at Matt and kissing him right on the lips.

 

Everyone roars with laughter, and Josh thinks he sees some flashes of light, like from a camera, but his brain feels funny. Foggy.

 

Matt stays frozen still, moving his lips slightly as Josh’s lips encourages them.

 

Josh finally stops kissing at him and looks at Matt’s face. Matt’s facial expression is slightly pinched. He notices Josh staring at him and appears to force a smile.

 

“What do you say we go upstairs so you can sober up, okay?” he asks Josh.

 

“Okay,” Josh slurs. It’s getting increasingly harder to keep his eyes open.

 

He follows Matt over to the stairs, stumbling ever so often. Matt grabs his arm as they walk upstairs, probably saving Josh’s life from death via stair tumble.

 

“I… I think I’ll go to bed now,” Josh says sleepily the moment they make it upstairs, and then there isn’t anything.

 

 

 

Josh is cold.

 

Josh is cold, and his head hurts.

 

“…osh? Josh, can you hear me? Josh?”

 

Josh blinks, trying to get past the glaring light. Ugh, light.

 

“Josh?” Is that… Debby?

 

“‘ebby?” he croaks, trying to focus on the face above his. 

 

“God, Josh,” she gasps, clutching his hand.

 

“Wha’appened?” Josh groans, trying to sit up. “Where am I?”

 

“Scott’s house, remember?” Debby says quietly.

 

“Oh,” Josh says, trying to remember everything that had happened the night before. “Where… where’s Matt?”

 

“I don’t know,” Debby says, touching his forehead. “I don’t know, Josh, I don't know, and I never ever want to know.”

 

“Why ’m I so cold?” Josh says, and Debby frowns, tucking the blanket Josh hadn’t realized was wrapped around him in a bit tighter.

 

“Oh. You’re awake.”

 

Josh looks up to see Matt walking in.

 

“Get out of here!” Debby shouts, making Josh jump. She gets up and stands in front of Josh. “Get out!”

 

Matt holds up his hands, looking vaguely amused. “Relax,” he says, “I was just grabbing my jacket.”

 

“Where did you put his clothes?” Debby hisses, her volume low enough that it’s obvious that Josh wasn’t supposed to hear. But he did.

 

“My… my what?” Josh says blearily, lifting up his blanket. “Wha… what?” He pulls the blanket around him tighter. “Why… why don’t I have any clothes?”

 

Matt lets out a low chuckle. “I don’t know, Joshie,” he says. “Where _are_ your clothes, you _slut?”_

 

Debby is suddenly slapping him across the face. “You’re almost eighteen,” she growls. “They’ll charge you as an adult, you know. You’ll be charged as an adult and go to jail and when you get out you’ll have to register as a sex offender once a year and put a sign up by your house saying that you’re a known offender and no one will ever talk to you because you’re a fucking—”

 

“Relax, bitch,” Matt sneers. “I stripped him, yeah, but I sure as shit didn’t touch him. This was just a dare. Obviously. Why the fuck would I want to date a fairy? Why the fuck would I want to _touch_ one? It was bad enough that he kissed me, that shit. You shit,” he says, looking over at Josh.

 

Josh covers his eyes with his hands. _This can’t be happening._

 

“That doesn’t mean someone else wouldn’t want to hurt him,” Debby growls. “And I seriously doubt you stayed here to make sure nobody else came in.”

 

“Oh, come on,” Matt says with a snort. “Nobody’s ever going to want to touch him. He’s disgusting, the fucking faggot.”

 

“Get out of here,” Debby hisses, and still looking amused, like this was the most entertaining thing he’s ever seen, Matt grabs his jacket and leaves.

 

“Debby,” Josh whimpers.

 

“I’m sorry, so sorry,” Debby says, spinning around and throwing herself onto him, hugging him tightly. “I’m so sorry, Josh.”

 

Josh wraps his arms around her body, closing his eyes. God, this doesn’t feel real.

 

“I called your mom,” Debby says after a couple of minutes. “She should be here soon.”

 

“You… you called my mom?” Josh asks, pulling back. “But… but why?”

 

“How else are you going to get home?” Debby says. “I rode my bike here, but there’s only one. And besides, Josh, you…” she swallows, “you aren’t wearing anything.”

 

Josh closes his eyes. “God, I’m going to be in so much trouble.”

 

“I think you’ll be okay, Josh,” she says softly. “Your mom… she didn't seem mad. Not at you, at least. You’ll be okay.”

 

Josh wraps the blanket a little bit tighter around himself. “I’m such an idiot,” he mumbles.

 

Debby must sense that there’s nothing she can do to convince him otherwise, because she just pulls him closer to her and holds him.

 

Later, as Josh and Debby get into his mother’s car, the blanket still wrapped tightly around him, his mom softly asks, “What happened, Josh?”

 

And Josh bursts into tears.

 

 

 

Josh goes to school that Monday to find a collage of pictures taped to his locker.

 

He nearly throws up.

 

It’s him, naked and unconscious. Words like _faggot_ and _whore_ are scrawled on them in thick, ugly script. There are people walking past him at his locker and laughing, laughing, laughing…

 

Josh tears the pictures off of his locker, ripping them up into shreds while stalking over to the closest trash can and throwing them away.

 

“That isn’t gonna help,” someone says, and Josh whirls around to see some guy standing there with a sympathetic look on his face. He’s holding out his phone. “I’m really sorry, man.”

 

Josh looks to see the pictures of him posted on… posted on FaceBook.

 

“Oh my god,” he gasps out, suddenly feeling faint.

 

“Twitter, Instagram, YouTube, everything, man,” the guy says. “I… I just thought you should know. Before you found out in a worse way.”

 

“Thank you,” Josh gets out before turning around and vomiting into the trash can that he just put the pictures in.

 

“Do… do you want me to get someone?” the guy asks.

 

Josh starts to shake his head, but he stops and says, “Debby. Debby Ryan. Locker 245. Please.”

 

“Okay,” the guy says softly.

 

 

 

Josh skips school for the rest of the week, along with Debby. They watch movies in her room and don't check twitter, Instagram, anything.

 

After the eighth text of _FUCKER WHORE FAGGOT SLUT DISGUSTING,_ Josh turns his phone off and doesn't look at it.

 

 

 

He can’t switch schools.

 

There isn’t another public school close enough for him to be driven to every day, and his parents don’t have enough money to move closer or send him to private school.

 

He has to go back.

 

He knows that the teachers know about what happened (how could they not?), but that doesn’t stop the other kids from shoving him against the lockers or spitting at him.

 

Once, as he was washing his hands in the bathroom, a group of people came in, both girls and boys. Bewildered, Josh tried to walk around them to get out. One of the boys grabbed his shirt and pushed him against the bathroom wall.

 

Josh was too scared to speak.

 

“Grab his arms,” the boy said, and two other boys stepped forwards and held Josh’s arms against the wall.

 

One of the girls stepped forward, sneering at him. “Let’s see how you like a girl, you fag,” she said, and kissed him.

 

Josh was too shocked to resist.

 

“Did you like that?” she whispered against his lips, her hands making their way down and squeezing his butt. He yelped, a high-pitched squeal that he couldn’t help but blush at.

 

The other kids laughed. One of the girls high-fived the girl who had just kissed him.

 

Josh’s lower lip was starting to tremble as one of the boys said, “Nobody wants you here, you faggot.”

 

“You should just die,” someone else chimed in.

 

“I hate whoever posted those pictures of you. No one _wants_ to see you naked. No one ever will.”

 

“You’re gross. Disgusting.”

 

“Honestly, how do you get up in the morning?”

 

“It’s actually kind of incredible. Hey, do fags get it up when they see themselves in the mirror?”

 

“Not this one. Who’d ever get turned on seeing him?”

 

They all laughed, heading for the door. Someone spat on him as they left.

 

The moment the door closed, Josh started to cry.

 

His life is falling apart.

 

 

 

“I can’t… I can’t fucking _do_ this, Debby,” Josh whispers, head on her lap. “I… I can’t. Fuck, no one… no one’s ever gonna love me. I should just…”

 

“Shut up,” Denny says very clearly. “Shut up, you stupid asshole.”

 

Josh blinks. “…what?”

 

“Are you seriously listening to what everyone is telling you in school?” she asks, sounding disapproving. “They’re all fucking idiots. You know that.”

 

Josh groans. “Debby…” he begins, trying to think of something to say. “Debby…”

 

“Yeah, I know, Josh,” she says, patting his head. “I know.”

 

 

 

Next week, Josh will go to school to find out that images of Debby kissing some other girl have been posted everywhere online. He will find out that his pictures will fade into the background, because there are pictures of Debby with her hands up some girl’s shirt everywhere. He will find Debby standing by her locker, the word _DYKE_ scrawled across it in ugly, orange paint, and he will see her smiling triumphantly.

 

He will never forgive her for exposing her own secret in order to push his out of the limelight.

 

He will never stop being impossibly grateful for that, either.

 

And later, a new boy, one without much interest in the school’s gossip, will find Josh on his knees hunched over a toilet in a bathroom stall at school. 

 

He will not fix anything.

 

But he will not ruin anything.


End file.
